hanging up the horns

Two weeks ago, Liam hit a milestone. He was officially outside longer than he was inside. The past nine months have been amazing, crazy, and different from anything we had ever anticipated. As my brother-in-law likes to point out, "he's awesome."

At any rate, I've been breastfeeding Liam all along (though he's on plenty of solids now, too). Like most things, I took a "we'll try it and see how it goes" approach. I had no real expectations or lofty goals. I just figured, if it works, that's great. If not, that's okay too. We had a bit of a latching issue at the outset, which we got through with some formula supplementation (and feeding Liam with a medicine dropper). I got to know my breastpump quite well, as I was pumping every three hours day and night for a few weeks. Finally, after several lactation consultant visits and introducing a nipple shield, we figured it out, and all was well. I was able to put away the pump for awhile.

When I started back to work half-time the week of January 22nd, I was only in the office once a week. So pumping three times a day in the office wasn't too bad. I pumped at 8:30am, at 12:30pm, and again around 4pm. Fortunately I have my own office, with a door that I can lock. However, I do have a wall of windows that look out of a rooftop, where workmen show up frequently. So that made for some fun sessions. Through an intricate set-up of flattened cardboard boxes and the strategic placement of my computer monitor in sight-lines, I don't think I ever actually flashed anyone.

I started back in the office full-time on March 31st. Managing the three-times-a-day pumping schedule was difficult. The morning session was easy -- no one else was in the office that early. Lunch was a little trickier -- morning meetings that ran long could leave me in a bit of a painful situation, plus I was always eating lunch at my desk while hooked up. The late afternoon one was okay, but I sometimes found myself rushing at 4:45pm to get it done before leaving work. I'm proud to say that I managed that schedule for about two months (until Liam was 7 1/2 months).

At the beginning of June, prompted by pump-fatigue and an apparently diminishing milk supply, I decided to drop down to pumping twice a day (losing the early morning session) and sending a bottle of formula to daycare with Liam. (And, yes, I know full well that pumping less decreases supply.) I felt like crap about this, but it made the workday a bit easier.

Two weeks ago, I decided to drop to one pumping session a day (giving Liam two bottles of formula a day). I kept the lunch session. This was much easier than the first foray into formula.

Today, after pumping for ten minutes and getting one ounce, I decided to call it quits. I'm not going to pump at work anymore. I'm going to continue nursing him when he wakes up and when he goes to bed, but I'm done with the breastpump. It served me well, but I want my lunch back. I want to go out with other people. I want to socialize. I want flexibility. I want to wear things to work that I can't unbutton down the front easily. I'm hanging up the horns.

RIP Medela Pump in Style Advanced.